Works, what I actually made and thought process

We started by making collages out of the materials we brought. I brought several national geographic magazines, an children’s encyclopaedia on animals that i bought at the chairty shop for £1 and other magazines. My final collages are pictured above, one with a lot of forest waterfalls and animals, one centred around an article on grief and life after loss and one that branches out like a sinister tree. Despite the first one being my favourite, I ended up getting inspired by the two others to make my painting; grief and the sinister tree. I have spoken about grief before and how I end up coming back to it regularly as a subject.

it is worth noting at this point that I had understood we were doing photography on that day and hence had no paints or brushes with me. My kind classmate let me borrow some of her paints.

So, I wanted to make a painting about grief. As you’ve probably guessed I am very unhappy with the result pictured above, I didn’t have enough time, didn’t have the right materials and wasn’t in the right mindset. No surprise that it didn’t work out. So let me explain what I would have done had I been in a better environment and mindset at the time.

I wanted the tree-like shadow to represent my dead friend, growing in the foreground. In the background I want a barren, icy landscape stretching out into mist and muddled greyness. A naked figure stands next to tree, emotionless , with a blank expression. The naked figure represents me, or whoever is grieving, the emptiness venerability and cold, the feeling like there’s nowhere to hide and no one to rely on, the despair. The lines hanging from the tree descending into drops are meant to evoke tears obviously, as well as the slow passing of time and be reminiscent of hanging ropes, reminding the spectator of death and more specifically suicide. My friend didn’t commit suicide, she had cancer and chose to not go through with the treatment and “let go”. Maybe have the sky melting, like heavy clouds slowly crushing the landscape? I want it to feel like the figure is trapped in this hellish lonely place that is slowly closing in around them.

I enjoy painting, I would love to learn and grow as a painter, I’m aware that I have a lot to learn. I don’t think the painting specialism is the place for me to do that and that’s okay. I will grow as a painter on my own terms.

Painting

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